Sunday, January 9, 2011

Because we're awesome, that's why!

I feel like I should in some way apologize for publicly accusing our scheduled guest, Mr. David Blatter, of being a witch.

Primarily I feel this way because our producers just told me I should feel this way, during a conversation that invoked such colorful phrases as: "keyboard monkey", "totally expendable", and "only slightly more valuable than the plants in my office, so watch your step."

Sorry David. I welcome your benign, charming, and presumably non-Satanic magical powers to our humble program, and I encourage everyone to come down and check them out LIVE, JANUARY 15th, 4pm, AT THE BOXCAR STUDIOS, 125A HYDE STREET IN SAN FRANCISCO!

In addition to Mr. Blatter, we're going to be chatting with Joe Rock of 107.7 (The Bone), who will tell us absolutely everything there is to know about the wide world of sports and the comparably narrow (but still pretty wide by the standards of other things) world of rock and roll.

That's right, I said everything there is to know, and I mean that literally, and I'm committing him to that astronomical task without even speaking to the man about it first. And I'm okay with that.

Not only that, we'll also welcome PianoFight back to the show! See, once we get out coils around you, there's no escape; one appearance will invariably lead to another, and then probably another after that, until we basically own you. Someday we'll have the entire Bay Area under our command, and after that, the world!

But first, awesome sketch comedy from the Bay Area's longest-running sketch comedy group. That's how it works see, sketch comedy first, total world domination second, that's the formula we worked out. Seems solid.

And our headliner this time will be Jeff Bodean; actor, reality TV star, entrepreneur, eccentric billionaire, and friend of Iron Man.

No, seriously, the dude knows Iron Man, see:

Now that's some serious business right there.

According to his IMDB page, Jeff has a baritone voice, is of "average" physique, plays four instruments (including the accordion), speaks three languages, and...does magic? Wow, damn, what's with all the magic in this episode? If we don't keep an eye on these guys we'll have rabbits and doves popping out of everything, and God only knows where that'll lead.

Yep, we're booked pretty solid for this show. Why do so many people all of a sudden want to appear on our program? Well, we take it as evidence that we are just completely awesome. Frankly, we always thought so, but it's nice to have it confirmed in such stark and irrefutable terms.

Don't worry though, because as our audience, you'll have the first opportunity to ride our coattails to success. Better hop on now though, because they're bound to fill up fast, and will likely become quite exclusive in the near future.

Once again, those wishing to bask in our glory (oh, and see some awesome guests and first-class comedy, but mainly we're all about self-serving glory now) can do so LIVE, JANUARY 15th, 4pm, AT THE BOXCAR THEATER STUDIOS, 125A HYDE STREET IN SAN FRANCISCO!

This one's gonna be good. I know because a fortune cookie told me so, and they're right at least 18% of the time. I keep track.

No comments:

Post a Comment