Word has it that a Millbrae man has sworn not to shave his beard until the Variety Society returns.
Further word has it that that man was actually a sheep, and that his beard was actually his coat, and that he has subsequently been sheared.
We may never know what was learned from this anecdote.
But finally, a breakthrough. Sam Jack, executive producer of the Variety Society, has apparently surfaced again, this time being spotted by a local wildlife photographer who originally set out to discover whether bears do, in fact, shit in the woods.
The following image, purported to be the elusive Jack, has not been altered in any way:
In a related story, a man claiming to be a local blogger claims to have interviewed a person claiming to be Sam Jack claiming to be Napoleon III claiming to be Sam Jack again about the future of the Variety Society. A crazy story? Sure, but coupled with the amazing photographic evidence above, how can we doubt him?
The claimed interview from the claimed man with the claimed Jack is claimed to be found here.
And now, I'm off to the Great Barrier Reef to investigate a reported sighting of Alexia Staniotas. Or was it Hoboken instead of the Great Barrier Reef? I get those things confused sometimes.
But there's one thing I'm never confused about: I will not rest until the Variety Society is back on the air!
I wonder if I have time to squeeze in a nap?